My Gift

I am in my last days of pregnancy.  Certain signs have cropped up that it will be sooner rather then later.  Midwife has told me I am 2cm dilated.  Which could mean nothing, though she does not think it likely I will make it to 40 weeks.  If I do this will be better for the child and I will have the house more prepared.  However it leaves us completely homebound and staying put until the baby comes.  I had a frenetic beginning of my week when I had these “signs” crop up and from experience with Sloane I was fearful that I would go any day.  However since these signs things have changed a bit.  Maybe it’s just my attitude, but I don’t think so.

Contractions have become less severe and calmed down.  Pain in my hip has lessened as well.  I feel very peaceful and slept better last night then I have in a long time.  I have energy I haven’t had in quite awhile and I am actually getting things done I have put off forever.  There is still a lot to do, but I don’t really feel that worried about it.  There are things I have urges to do.  Silly things, like hang my copper wreath up on my front door to celebrate Fall being here.  Decorating the house with Fall items to welcome baby.  Decorate in general.

I find myself staring outside at the beautiful sunshine and clouds and feeling an overwhelming joy and peace at the beauty.  Hot apple cider has been on the stove all day and it smells wonderful.  Chicken stock just finished and it mingles with the cider and smells like the liquid gold it is.  I love being a homemaker, I love Fall, I love making my house a Home.  I feel so at ease and peaceful and ready to bring this baby into our world.  I am confidant that my daughter is ready for a sibling, she talks every day about baby being born.

I am amazed at the way my Father made my body to do this miracle work and the way everything is working together towards good, even when it feels like pain.  I can rest in the knowledge that this pain brings good.  Bearing babies is no longer a curse, is it?  Even in His curses He provides rest, blessings and joy.  He provides Love abundant.  I await eagerly and anticipate even the labor and birth of my second baby.  I don’t dread it and when people ask me if I am afraid.  I calmly tell them “no, I am more confidant then ever.”  I know it will bring things I do not expect, but it will bring so much joy.  I want to fight for this glorious thing.  I want to give in to this glorious thing.  I want to trust that God made me sufficient and quite good enough to birth a baby into this world.  I want to trust that He will see me through this no matter what may happen on the day of our next child’s birthday.  I am surrendered to this experience completely and the peace that has settled over me these last days has been a wonderful, wonderful gift.

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