Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

My Gift

I am in my last days of pregnancy.  Certain signs have cropped up that it will be sooner rather then later.  Midwife has told me I am 2cm dilated.  Which could mean nothing, though she does not think it likely I will make it to 40 weeks.  If I do this will be better for the child and I will have the house more prepared.  However it leaves us completely homebound and staying put until the baby comes.  I had a frenetic beginning of my week when I had these “signs” crop up and from experience with Sloane I was fearful that I would go any day.  However since these signs things have changed a bit.  Maybe it’s just my attitude, but I don’t think so.

Contractions have become less severe and calmed down.  Pain in my hip has lessened as well.  I feel very peaceful and slept better last night then I have in a long time.  I have energy I haven’t had in quite awhile and I am actually getting things done I have put off forever.  There is still a lot to do, but I don’t really feel that worried about it.  There are things I have urges to do.  Silly things, like hang my copper wreath up on my front door to celebrate Fall being here.  Decorating the house with Fall items to welcome baby.  Decorate in general.

I find myself staring outside at the beautiful sunshine and clouds and feeling an overwhelming joy and peace at the beauty.  Hot apple cider has been on the stove all day and it smells wonderful.  Chicken stock just finished and it mingles with the cider and smells like the liquid gold it is.  I love being a homemaker, I love Fall, I love making my house a Home.  I feel so at ease and peaceful and ready to bring this baby into our world.  I am confidant that my daughter is ready for a sibling, she talks every day about baby being born.

I am amazed at the way my Father made my body to do this miracle work and the way everything is working together towards good, even when it feels like pain.  I can rest in the knowledge that this pain brings good.  Bearing babies is no longer a curse, is it?  Even in His curses He provides rest, blessings and joy.  He provides Love abundant.  I await eagerly and anticipate even the labor and birth of my second baby.  I don’t dread it and when people ask me if I am afraid.  I calmly tell them “no, I am more confidant then ever.”  I know it will bring things I do not expect, but it will bring so much joy.  I want to fight for this glorious thing.  I want to give in to this glorious thing.  I want to trust that God made me sufficient and quite good enough to birth a baby into this world.  I want to trust that He will see me through this no matter what may happen on the day of our next child’s birthday.  I am surrendered to this experience completely and the peace that has settled over me these last days has been a wonderful, wonderful gift.

Home James

Time to move home.  Our month so quickly is up.  Sloane is with the grandparents and we had a nice day of slowly packing yesterday and will finish this morning.  Half the stuff we brought is in the truck.  So breakfast, showers, last bit of loading and cleaning and we’ll head towards home.  Pick up the daughter and a matress (I am taking an old one from my parents to labor on and possibly sleep on the first days with baby).  Then home.

I am a bit sad…

Funny to say that, I mean really isn’t it?  Who wouldn’t be ready to go home.  Eager even.  Our family has enjoyed this time in Omaha together.  I have done little with anyone but spent time with my family.  I have kind of kept to myself and not wanted to do much.  This was my time of rest before baby.  So is it any wonder I am sad to give it up?  There are things I won’t miss, like the bed, I want my nice bed.  I won’t miss the noisy neighbors (wait we have that at home too!).  I won’t miss the kitchen with it’s horrible electrical stove and without the vast array of things to make my cooking life fun and interesting.  I won’t miss toilets that run all the time or only occasionally work, or showers that run hot and aren’t filtered so they smell like chlorine.  But before I get overboard with what I’m leaving behind, there are a few things I will miss about this month in “Omanha” (Sloane’s word).

  1. Whole Foods:  I will miss this store.  We don’t really have much like it in Des Moines.  What we do have is overpriced with less to chose from.  At least the Hy-vee’s have a better health food section then here in Omaha
  2. The Henry Doorly Zoo:  With a zoo pass we’ve been able to go almost every week and Sloane has gotten so used to it then when we pass the big dome she gets excited.  I guess we’ll have to make a few day trips before it gets too cold…and maybe after baby!
  3. Food Network:  Yes I admit, to this channel I am addicted.  I have always always loved this channel.  It helped me along early on in my teens with loving food.  It gave me courage to explore and experiment.  We don’t have cable at home, and I won’t get it just for this, but I will miss it.  Adam said he would too!
  4. Family Time:  It was just the 3 of us, all the time.  Forced to have more time together then normal.  We had breakfast together (something that does not happen with Adam’s job back in Des Moines).  Sometimes we even had lunch together.  It was a real bonding time.
  5. No stairs:  Funny thing to miss?  Not when you’re almost 8 months pregnant!  Every single pregnant mama knows what I mean!
  6. Quiet:  Few phones ringing, few outside distractions pulling me this way and that, very little obligations or appointments or “need-to-do” moments.  This…is priceless.

So a chapter in our life has come to a close and when we go home we will be getting ready for a new strange one to open up.  One we have no clue what it will bring us.  Another baby and a toddler.  Adam no longer being his own boss (which he dearly loved).  I am not really scared, there is some anxiety, but maybe that’s normal?  I’m not really supposed to know what this next chapter will bring, I’m just supposed to sit back and go along for the ride.  I can’t force something to happen in my book.  If I have learned anything in my short life, it’s that nothing has gone the way I had planned it.  After all, “The mind of man plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps.”

I think if I can remember that these next few months, I’ll be golden…

32 Weeks

It feels like forever since I have written, I’ve started drafts and just as quickly let them go or forgotten them. I’ve started rants in my head only to never sit down in front of a computer to type anything, hardly even a quick email. I haven’t really been busy, but I haven’t been slow either. I am enjoying my life now at 32 weeks along and not feeling pressure to do anything.

We have enjoyed the company of friends and some family while in Omaha and back home for our brief visits as well.  It takes a lot out of me to travel back home for a few days and have to pack a few things and turn around and repack to come back to the apartment.  My stamina is waning as is my momentum.  My daughter now walks faster then I can in most cases.  I have two months left if I am lucky.  My body feels it and is rebelling at most movements and bends.  I am feeling like a beached whale who cannot hardly even roll over.

I had my midwife appointment finally after missing for two weeks.  Most of my concern had to do with the diabetes and the issue with my blood sugars being at least 10 points too high.  She wasn’t happy that they were higher, but she wasn’t upset either.  I was told they weren’t high enough to warrant the risk of medication.  Good thing I guess as I don’t really want to be on medication anyway.  However it’s hard to be 100% good while in Omaha when I am not cooking all the time.  Let’s face it I do crave something sweet for me every once in awhile.  But Baby is measuring at exactly 32 weeks, I’ve only gained 2 more pounds since my last appointment, putting me at 127, I weighed 105 before pregnancy.  Blood pressure continues to fall.  Baby is no longer head up but head down all ready to be born.  I’m still having issues with hips being completely out of place, but we’re working on that.  Swelling is staying at bay for the most part, unlike last time.

Nori_SloaneThe weather is beautiful and I am enjoying my time for the most part.  I can’t begin to explain the peace I have felt as I step outside in the cool low 70 degree weather.  Just how light I feel and free from cares.  Sloane and I sat down the other night on the couch before she went to bed and snuggled.  Priceless memories.  She wanted to feel baby and she kept her hand on my belly the entire time.  Watched it with wonder.  Looked at me with smiles.  She would put her head on my shoulder and shared her “babies” and Chickie blanket.  The blanket she has inherited from me, mine when I was a child given to me by my aunt.  These are moments I will cherish and remember forever.  Our 3 year old daughter completely recognizing that there was a life inside of me to cherish and be excited about.  These are days that make my heart glad and are praise-worthy.

Until next time…which will be to share a yummy dish I have created with coconut milk, mango, shrimp, cabbage and brown rice.  Sound yummy?  Oh yes, it is to die for!



Back home for two days and one night. Naptime in the Tempur-Pedic and I am reminded why we bought this thing. Why it’s one of the few pieces of furniture we have actually splurged on and made payments on. Yes it is that good. Sleep tonight should be better. Definitely a nap tomorrow too. I will get my time’s worth in it while I can before going back to Omaha.

Cindy_20090610_0354I had forgotten how well my hips do in my own bed. The pain I have been in the last few days has been sharp. Tomorrow I get another adjustment though and I just love Tammy. A massage would be one step closer to some relief, but I already have 3 appointments and a trip to Picket Fence Creamery to make it too. Too much in one day. Not to mention dinner with fabulous Cindy!

She makes cakes that are to die for. I literally mean to die for. She made the cake for my friends wedding and we are doing her website for her. I can’t post that yet as it’s not done.  Her business is Outside the Lines, because she is truly outside of Cindy_20090610_0218the ordinary when it comes to her creations.  She said she was going to make us a strawberry mouse cake Monday night, very similar to this raspberry one pictured.  Brownie crust, white chocolate mouse with a raspberry/strawberry floating center and then as you can see berries and chocolate ganache on top.  Who could ask for more?

Yesterday I made a Deep Dark Chocolate Tart courtesy of The Nourishing Gourmet.  I made a blackberry reduction to go with it, sweetened with some stevia and maple syrup.  It was rich and heavy but absolutely wonderful.  I have half of in the freezer and maybe at a later date I will take some pictures.  The only thing I would change is cut the crust recipe in half so there’s less crust.  I think it would be good with a ganache type layer on top or maybe a white chocolate layer or sour cream layer to cut the richness of the chocolate.  It’s a winner and super simple to make so try it out!

Stuck without a home

Well, we are currently in a temporary apartment until they finish our carpet in the apartment we actually rented.  Turns out the “pet odor” wasn’t treatable with a carpet cleaner.  Soo… they are redoing the carpet.  Yeahhh… I am trying to remember to be grateful they’re not just masking the odor with deodorizer.  We have dishes, but no soap to clean them with.  We have beds and towels, but no change of clothes.  We have one roll of toilet paper and at least some samples of shampoo and conditioner.  I ended up washing my underwear in a sink, I was desperate.  But hey, we have somewhere to wait and somewhere to sleep and somewhere to shower.  It could be worse.

Instead of Adam working on the building today (which is why we are here) we will be taking the day off and waiting to get into our apartment.  Probably heading over to the Union Pacific station for a little Nebraska history.  Tomorrow we’re supposed to have thunder storms and then the next two days after that sweltering heat.  What a week to start!!

Still, our family is together and Sloane is doing better now that the packing is done.  Yesterday she melted on us several times as there was so much change going on.  We brought her toddler bed for some added security, but last night she had to sleep in a big big big bed.  It helped that we ran into Mike & Jess last night at Hy-Vee and Sloane was in heaven.

So for now we are not settled and we still have a bunch of unpacking to do and setting up.  Hopefully by tonight that will be changed and our new home will be a reality.  What can I learn from this?  Gratefulness.

Moving Day

Well here I am, it’s 7:35 in the morning and nobody in my house is awake yet, except for myself and the cat.  We are realistically only halfway packed, but the last of what we are going to do won’t be too tough and today won’t be anything but unpacking when we do get to Omaha.  Settling in and taking stock of our new home for a month.  My biggest dilemma has really been that I would like to bring our cat, but my husband doesn’t want to.  Which leaves my brother to take care of her and I believe he’s reluctant at best.  My conscience bothers me with that one, but what can I do now?  I hate forcing anything on someone, especially as it was most recently done to me and I remember how I reacted to that feeling.

I am not looking forward to a 2 hour drive with a sore back.  I am thinking ice packs might be my saving grace today.  I just got my adjustment yesterday so I am still very sore.  Well today should be interesting and maybe a bit exciting, but I’m already tired from a bad night of sleep.  Perhaps I bit off more then I could chew, but we were going to keep the family together at all costs.

Ohh, I hear little feet running around upstairs…it’s time to get moving this morning.

See you in Omaha!

Life Interrupted

Today we looked at a furnished apartment in Omaha.  We will be living in Omaha for a month while Adam works on a family property.  It will be an interesting experience for us as a family.  I was very much looking forward to it until I saw the apartment.  I guess it’s never good to have expectations.  We are having to pay a large amount for what we’re getting when other apartments at that cost were definitely in the “luxury” bracket.  I don’t need luxury and didn’t really want it, I just don’t want to pay that much money for something that is clearly lacking.  A lesson in gratefulness I suppose when our other option was being tied to strings we don’t want to be tied to and having to owe a debt we can’t repay.  I cannot go into anymore detail then that.

So now for the next few days I have to pack up everything that isn’t furnished in the apartment.  I swear I saw no pots and pans, just a few unused pyrex dishes still wrapped up, some baking sheets, a can opener, a wine opener, and maybe a plastic whisk.  We do at least have service for 4, but now that I think about it I don’t remember seeing silverware.  Hmm…I should have scrounged some more.

lecruesetCall me picky but this means I have to bring my beloved red dutch oven (it’s a Le Creuset I scrimped and scrounged to buy and used birthday and Christmas money for), probably at least one wooden spoon (I am a sucker for the old fashioned, I love my wood), I don’t remember seeing potholders, I wish it wasn’t too much to bring my Kitchen Aid mixer (yet another present), and finally a few of my stainless steel pots and pans.  I cook enough I don’t figure it’s worth being super cheap with my items, honestly most of them have been presents as birthday and Christmas combined.  I can’t argue with a well-used piece of kitchen machinery.

My big job while in Omaha is cooking, that’s it.  I am hoping to catch up on some writing, but I don’t know what life will be like while we are there.  I plan on making some saurkraut and beet kvass while in town.  I hope to have a few friends and family members over to our cheaply furnished, yet spacious apartment for dinner.  I will visit Whole Foods and be much in love with that.   My kombucha will have to stay at home happily fermenting away and hopefully I can pick some up when I head back every Monday.  We will luckily get to home for about a day and a half each week.  Not much, but it’s looking like I will very much enjoy that.  I don’t relish doing laundry from a coin machine again.

Call me spoiled I guess, but my life is about to be interrupted!